Friday, April 25, 2014

Brucoli "Bruco" Balent (2004-2014)

Charleston—Bruco Balent, 10, passed away peacefully early this morning surrounded by his family. He was a devoted pack member, a colossal pain in the ass, a loyal best friend and one regal looking son of a bitch.

Bruco was born in Sicily on November 1, 2004. Born into a litter of Italian Greyhound puppies, he was named after the Sicilian port town, Brucoli. After spending his first two years of life with an US Navy family that moved on to their next duty station without him, he found his way into the Balent Family where, without a doubt, he belonged.

Bruco was a cunning foodie—one time he jumped up onto the kitchen counter, made his way to the stove, flipped the lid on a pan of boiling hot beef stroganoff and ate half of it before getting caught. Bruco was above shitting in the yard, so most of his shits were taken on the master bathroom floor, which his mother continually defended as being "so close to toilet trained”. When Bruco wasn’t busy stealing food and shitting in the house, he excelled at cuddling and spent every night under the covers beside his mother. Bruco was known by many for his love of squeaky balls, outsmarting squirrels, humping his handicap brother and his basic “fuck you” attitude.

He is survived by his human mother and father, Coleen and Trent, his human brother and sister, Currier and Rya, his dog brother, Paolo, his reptile sister, Rosy, a half dozen Seamonkeys, as well as numerous friends from near and far, all of whom loved him dearly (and a few who hated him because he bit them, which they probably deserved anyway).

Because of his irrational fear that his family would throw him a cat themed funeral despite his hatred of cats, his family will hold a private service free of any type of "theme”. In lieu of flowers, the family asks that you hug your dog a little tighter and longer today. If you don’t have a dog, then the family feels terribly sorry for you because you are missing out on one of the greatest friendships of a lifetime. Go to your local shelter and adopt a dog today!

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Bruco is the most regal looking dog I have ever seen ... this picture chokes me up every time ... the look in his eyes is so knowing. Your friend is running free on the sandy beach of the next world sniffing the salty air and eating all the hot beef stew he can get his paws on...take comfort in that.