Sibling Love

Don't let this picture fool you.  Just seconds after this photo was taken Currier called Rya a skank and Rya kicked Currier in the nuts.

Silence of the Lambs

It puts the lotion in the basket.

Freakshow

Yes, this freakshow belongs to me!

Woody

Currier was just freaking out yelling, "Mom...MOM, tell Rya to quit touching my Woody!" I came running into the room and thankfully found this!

Blogging

Horny Cookies

I was eight years old when my mother died.  That first Christmas without her was especially tough and I remember all the adults in my life trying so hard to make me happy.  On Christmas night, we stopped by my Aunt Joan's open house and she presented a plate of cookies "just for me" to take home because she knew I loved the kind with the Hershey Kiss on top.   I blurted out, "Thank you so much.  These are my favorite.  They make me so horny!" and whole family turned and scowled at my always inappropriate father.  Having no idea what horny meant at the time, I really did come pretty close to describing how these cookies make me feel!   From then on, I call the cookies with the Kiss on top "Horny Cookies" and I smile every time I eat one!

Friday Favorites- The Haunted Flashlight

Behold the haunted flashlight!  About ten years ago while living in Germany, Trent got deployed to Bosnia for six months and my cousin Cheryl came to check up on me keep me company for a few weeks.  One night we were lying in bed together with a flashlight.  I'm not sure why two grown women were in bed together with a flashlight, but that's not the point of this story so I digress.  After making the light dance on the ceiling, I paused and we both saw the image of a little boy's face.  THERE IS A DEAD BOY IN THIS FLASHLIGHT and it petrified us.  Cheryl and I love to mess with each other so we've been sending this flashlight back and forth to each other for ten years now.  Right now it's in my possession and I can't stand the thought of it being in my house.  A care package is being put together today and this spirit is being shipped off to Massachusetts.  Watch your back Cheryl Lee.  Watch your back.

Come On Robin, To The Batcave!

This is the gayest Batmobile I've ever seen! 

Alright, I know I have WAY too much time on my hands!  Maybe I need to get a job?  Does anyone need a freelance writer or a pro organizer.  I'm willing to work for beer, sushi or Valium. 

Ego Booster

This morning I was reading People Magazine to Currier and Rya (Don't judge. How else does a stay-at-home-mom keep up with her Hollywood!) and when I turned to this page I asked Currier who he thought was the prettiest. Without batting an eyelash, "You're the prettiest Mama!" I've got that boy trained.

"I've Got Poop On My Balls!"

This morning Currier and I were sitting at the dining room table eating cereal when out of the blue he declares, "I've got poop on my balls." Something in me snaps and I go off on a five minute tangent about how he needs to do poop on the potty. "I'm sick of this yo-yo potty training. You're a big boy now and big boys don't wear diapers," I sternly lecture.

All the while I'm wondering where the hell he learned the word "balls". I didn't even know he was aware that he had testicles never mind knowing funny slang words for them. I get up from the table to access the mess in his pants and Currier looks at me like I'm insane and points out the window and repeats, "I've got poop on my balls!"

"Oh yeah, that's right you did get dog poop on your balls. That's yucky. We need to clean those with the hose today," I digress.

And the Rest is History!

This morning I told Currier that today was a very exciting day because we're getting a new president. His eyes lit up and he shouted, "New presents! Yeah, new presents!"

Shopping Anyone?

The problem with all these fantastic sales going on right now is we can't even afford things that are 75% off.

Happy New Year!

Wishing you all the best for 2009.

Choking Hazard

Last night Currier caught me pop a peppermint candy in my mouth and asked if he could have a piece. I said, "Oh no Currier, these are a choking hazard!" He followed up with, "Can I please have a choking hazard?" The child should be a comedian!

Pilgrim Peepee

Currier and I decorated the house for Thanksgiving this morning and Currier wanted to know why the Pilgrim was holding his pee pee. The kid is a total laugh riot ... and wow that's one big pee pee!

I Finally Found The Perfect Job!

I called them and told them that I'm due on November 17th and wouldn't be available until the 18th. Can't wait to get started!

Bowl Cut

When Trent came home from work and saw Currier's new haircut he said, "Hey, remember Jim Carrey's character in Dumb and Dumber?... long pause... That's all I really have to say!"

My Wonderful Husband

The other night after dinner, I asked Trent if he would please clean up the dirty dishes because it was going to take my exhausted pregnant body a little while to get up from the table. His reply—“Oh Honey, I'll sit here with you until you're ready to get up and clean." Isn't he the best!?

Bruco's Potty Mouth

True story. Last night I caught Bruco eating one of Currier’s poopy diapers out of the trash can. I screamed, "Damn it Bruco! I can’t believe you. You're disgusting!" Bruco turned to me no lie and said, "Lady, where I come from shit is a delicacy."

Am I Making Friends?

Hell yeah, I'm making friends! This is my best friend Holly. Holly makes me iced coffee every morning, serves it with a smile and calls me Honey. Being friends with Holly is effortless considering she doesn't know we're friends.